Reach for the lasers

I watched Human Traffic for the first time in too long last night, an absolutely brilliant film, and reminded me of 'boomshanka!' which I used to say constantly in early secondary school.
I did find it quite depressingly uncomfortable at certain points, reminding me of my own paranoias highlighted in their characters, this ability to so strongly relate to the negative parts of the film is going to definitely stop me watching it all that often, which is a shame because the rest of the film is incredible.
On the topic of depression and paranoia, it's been getting to me worse and worse over the last couple of weeks, becoming quite distressing for a few hours today. All the events of Christmas and seeing Nicola got my mind of it fantastically, but when I'm left to my own devices for too long it cripples me, and I absolutely despise myself for being that much of a weak bastard and needing constant reassurance.
At least the end of the day was good, we spent the entire afternoon cleaning the inside and out of the farm over by Tesco. The kid's bedrooms in the massive converted loft were like something out of Harry Potter as you had to duck your head and make your way through the tunnel network of rooms, I desperately hope that the kids appreciate how lucky they have it. And then when we'd finished and were having tea I went out and played with the chickens and horses for a bit before we called it a day, it made me really want to go horse riding again, as I used to all the time when we went to France as a young child, but haven't ever since.