Ruth joins the family

After a brief consultation with Dave on the preferred Ford Fiestas I find the best looking 1.25 on Autotrader, the next day (Saturday) I'm rolling into Camden with my brother, father and Paul to check it out. After we find it we give it a quick look over and a test drive, running good for the most part, a ten year old Zetec engine with low mileage, Ghia spec electric windows, central locking and all the other luxury level bells and whistles, things it looked like a pretty sweet deal for 750 pound coins. The woman selling it had half a dozen other people on the line trying to find their way there, so I decided to grab it before any of them arrived.
There’s a few scratches I’ll be able to t-cut out, a few small dents I won’t, plasticy shit interior, it burns a bit too much oil when pushing it, and the tappets need aligning. But it has new springs and brakes with the recent MOT, and for £750 it shifts, easily cruising at 90 on the way home, so I’m rather content with it.

When I got back I was quick on insuring it, and by half 3 me and Paul were on the road.
The front tyres looked a bit feeble so I thought the first port of call would be the garage to fill up and check the pressure. The manual says they should be at 31 PSI, and I found them to be at 15! Thinking back to the 90MPH ride home suddenly became a bit chilling. After pumping them up and moving out it became so much more wonderfully responsive.

The lulz began on Sunday, with Dan and Bertie we thought about going to Woburn zoo, but after seeing the £17.50 ticket price we completely ditched that idea. So instead we decided to pimp my ride, with a budget of free.
After almost two hours of serious mechanical expertise we decided to hit the town and woo the ladies. With my special K spoiler, cardboard fiber bodykit, go faster stripes and personalised hood ornament, I was the coolest kid in town.
After showing the Stevenage massive who’s boss later that night I had to take it off, and spend a while scrubbing off the cellotape residue today.
With an iPod tapey thing generously donated by Paul, all the old stickers taken off, new floor mats and a good clean she scrubs up alright.
Let the good times roll.

Why so serious.

Well I had a pretty cool weekend. Hanging out with Neil and Haku is always a great laugh, mostly blazing GTA races, Ikaruga and the usual Naruto 3.
MCM was its usual self, but continued the declining level of enjoyment I recieve from each one. It's still amusing enough to see all the cosplayers and have a look at what's on offer, and in the end it's something for us to do other than sitting around playing games all day. But the annoying kids, socially awkward shut-ins and arrogant assholes that take themselves too seriously were out in full force, and that'll certainly put a downer on any event.
After Neil left on Sunday I went to see the new Indiana Jones film with Haku and Paul, on a totally spur of the moment thing, and found it to be a surprisingly good movie. Still no patch on the classics, and could have done with a whole lot less of George Lucas and his novelty characters and sci-fi overkill, and a whole lot more of Steven Spielberg and his quality skills.

I started watching Ichigo Mashimaro a few days ago, and it's just as funny as all the hype suggests. I'm really having to pace myself so I don't blast through the unfortunately short 12 episode series too quickly.
I also started watching Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, an absolute blast from the past which has really surprised me with how addicted it has me. At first I just wanted to check it out along with Tenchi Universe after reminiscing about the good ol' Toonami days of school, so many years ago. I was just expecting some nostalgia lulz and for that to be the end of it, especially as it's a lengthy 49 episodes, but the classic art style, unfiltered nostalgia and typcial Gundam politics has got me hooked. I think this'll be an awesome series for me to encode and put on my iPod to watch during my lunch breaks.

Tomorrow I'll be heading into London with Bertie and the clan for some shits and giggles at the X Factor auditions. After managing to charm his was past one of the co-owners of SONY he's in for a chance to face David Cowell and test his worth. In the name of the Emperor I pray he gets that oppertunity.

Winning

So I passed my test, good times.
Headed out, was a bit busier than I was expecting, did a turn in the road, reverse around corner and emergency stop, went back, said it was a good drive, happy days.
I really am so god damn happy I've got my licence now. When I was in the waiting room for the first test I suddenly got absurdly nervous, the only time I ever remember being anywhere near that nervous was back in the lower years of primary school when I was doing my first school play, doing the typical "I don't want to go out, bawwww!" routine. I was that apprehensive purely because getting my licence is the only thing I think I've ever actually cared about, in my entire life.
Of course there's been other stuff I've wanted, winning competitions, tournaments and games, doing well in various pursuits, but of all those things it wouldn't have really made a massive difference if I'd failed or not got the result I wanted. Getting my licence and driving, it's all I've ever really given a damn about, other stuff comes and goes and I've never really been tied down to anything, but driving is everything to me.
Man, I'm starting to sound like Takumi.
Anyway, I've got my licence and now just need my car. I've got a few lined up to look at and have been in contact with people, so it's only a matter of time now.

Got the next MCM on Saturday. I had no interest in going until I met up with Jess and that lot in London and they gave me a new reason. Neil's coming down from Liverpool tomorrow, and Haku'll be coming back to mine from MCM, so the usual good time gaming and hanging out will be had, especially as I have a free house for the next four days.
I was put off MCM because of all the absurdly childish faggotory from all the hyperactive 14 to 17 year olds, but I guess there's a lot of good to it too, and for the most part it's what you make of it with the people you're with, so I'll just try my best to persevere that bullshit.

All wings, report in

GENTLEMEN.
It's been a long time. I have summoned you here today to discuss the liquidation of cyclists.
But let's back up for just one second, where did it all go wrong?
I arrived at Blackpool on Sunday just over a month ago, stepping off the coach I was immediately hit by what a dive it is. Seriously, the boulevard was like Las Vegas meets Chernobyl, and one steet back from that was the ghetto. Just like anywhere else in England, it had its nice areas too, but why anyone would want to come here on a 'holiday' I will never know.
The one thing Blackpool had going for it was the fact that it's street racer central. Everything everyone's said about cars being cheaper up north is so absurdly true, you'll see very few modified FWDs and a silly amount of Jap imports. Within an hour of being there I saw an R34 GTR, so I was sufficiently impressed.
My instructor was pretty cool, which I was very worried about, as getting stuck with a bad instructor for a week would've been hell. The other guy I was paired with was alright, a total builder but we all got on great.
The week went pretty quickly, driving during the day and either reading on seawall or playing my DS in the hotel during the evening.
Failed my test, all because I overtook a fucking cyclist without leaving a 'safe distance'. If I was going to fail I wanted to put the car on its roof or into an orphanage, not a stupid little thing like that.
Ahh well, I've been driving with Andrew's old instructor since I got back, who really knows his stuff. Got my test next Wednesday morning, and if I fail that I really don't know what I'll do.

I met up with Ellie and a bunch of other people in London the Saturday after Blackpool. It was rather strange as I'd been on the coach all night and had managed no sleep at all, but I still wasn't tired at all even after walking around London all day.
We did a tour of some pretty cool shops, and I managed to bag volumes 23 to 29 of Initial D for £2 each out of a bargin bin, now I just need to buy volumes 13 to 22 to catch up...
I met some really cool people (and some real elitist pricks) and generally enjoyed it. We spent the second half of the day at the Namco arcade which was pretty awesome. I'd been there before, but when you're just passing through is totally different to when you properly stop and take your time. Best part of it was the Wangan Midnight: Maximum Tune 3 arcade machine. Which while having a silly amount of catch-up turned on, proved to be the most awesome arcade racer I'd ever played. I spent a lot of money on that with Pill, who while having no previous interest in motorsports was really enthuiastic about the racing games, definitely a potential getaway driver. Also hung out a lot with Jess, who seems to share pretty much all my interests and has a delightfully overenthusiastic fan-girl side.
I'll be seeing all these crazy cats again at MCM next weekend.

Started watching a bit more anime again recently, although I've dropped Moyashimon and haven't been able to bring myself to watch any more Baccano! yet.
Most notably I watched the six episodes of Golden Boy, which is freakin' hilarous, quite possibly the funniest comedy anime I've ever seen.
I also blasted through the entirety of Infinite Ryvius alarmingly fast, I really didn't expect it to grab me as much as it did. It's basically Lord of the Flies in space as it follows a ship full of stranded teenagers left to sort themselves out for six months.
Now I'm watching Toward the Terra, which has also really grabbed me, although it certainly has a lot of things that really do not appeal to me. It's main attractions are the situation the main character finds himself in and the sci-fi genre. But the thing that really gets on my nerves is how some of it is so blatantly aimed at pleasing fan-girls, which shouldn't be surprising as it was recommended to me by a serious yaoi fan, but there's only so much eye rolling I can do at the heart-throb mentor and his antics, luckily he's on the verge of death, so hopefully he'll kick the bucket and get out of my face soon enough.

I've left out a lot of junk that I've been up to, but I guess that's what's gonna happen when I don't update for a month. Hopefully I'll have nothing but good times next week and will get back on the ball, we'll see how things go.

Spoilers to follow

I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest a few days ago, pretty messed up ending with the dude getting a lobotomy, seriously not cool. Typical Jack Nicholson performance though, doing the crazy thing he does best.

I got my DS card on Wednesday, which is really impressive considering it left Hong Kong on Sunday. Some seriously fine work, China.
Been happily getting into Elite Beat Agents, Hotel Dusk, Phoenix Wright, Trauma Center and WarioWare, with another half a dozen games I've yet to properly try. I'm really bitter about Advance Wars being the only game that doesn't work though, I absolutely loved the original on the GBA and was really looking forward to this one, a bit heart breaking that I won't be able to spend all those hours executing brilliant tactical maneuvers like I did with the first.

I'm encoding videos to put on my iPod as I type this, the first few episodes of Moyashimon and the last few of Manabi Straight, some Breaking Bad and the Argentinian rally are all going on there, which should be a very good amount to see me through the week.

Other than that I'm pretty much set, just one more day and then I can piss off for a week, excellent.

This time next week

After finding a return coach to Blackpool for under 35 sterling I got straight on booking my intensive course, which is all set for the week after next. I'll be leaving next Sunday and hopefully returning the Friday after with my licence.
The card for my DS was posted from Hong Kong today, with a claimed seven to fifteen days delivery it's pretty dubious if it'll get here in time, but all I can do is pray it does as it will be seriously indispensable for the trip.

I've started watching the anime series Baccano!, which is alright. It's sold as a sort of a 1920s American Gangster deal with lots of different characters with completely different stories intertwining, kind of making it sound like the next Cowboy Bebop, but it's nowhere near that good. The one cool thing about it is how it seems to have every famous voice actor under the sun, from Vicious to Kyon's sister back to Ryosuke Takahashi, it had me pausing the first episode every five minutes to find out where I knew that voice from.

I started watching Breaking Bad recently as well, which is a really dark comedy about a science teacher that discovers he has cancer, and with less than two years to live he starts making crystal meth to leave his family with some money, with hilarous consequences.
The lead's played by Hal from Malcolm in the Middle, which is the perfect casting. But typical to every decent American series that tries to do something a little different, it only has seven episodes, I'm enjoying it while it's here though.

One rather nice discovery is the Jazz Spastiks, who I came across in a random drifting video on youtube. Great beats, and a 23 track album for only £7, a very reasonable price that I am more than willing to pay when every penny goes to the artist.
Might even be the first album I've ever bought.

G-Boys 4 eva

I had a very brief look at Now and Then, Here and There before deleting its punk ass off my machine. It may be highly acclaimed but with artwork that cheap and old the story would have to be fucking ground breaking to make up for it, and I am pretty sure it's not that good.

I've started working my way through the films on my list of things to watch, as opposed to spending most of my time trawling through series. I always want to find the next really epic series to get into and absolutely lose myself in, but the problem is that these series are few and far between. Titles with the quality of Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo and Haruhi Suzumiya are rare to say the least, for the most part anime series have relatively low production costs and are just cashing in on a successful manga series. Films on the other hand are only an hour or two long, so have much improved animation and direction with none of the filler used to pad things out in between.

The night before last Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade took the stage, and I'd say it was alright. It felt rather reminiscent of Ghost in the Shell, with the heavy political discourse broken up by the odd action scene. Of course it's nowhere near the level of excellence that GitS stands atop, and is not particularly a film I can see myself going back to watch any time soon, but it was still enjoyable.

Last night I sat down to The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, which was pretty damn good. I'd describe it as kinda like The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya on ritalin, in being a pleasant slice of life comedy with sci-fi undertones. The characters were rather generic with routine plot development, but for something as banal as it was there wasn't much fault to find in it other than its mundanity. A quality film overall, enjoyable viewing for all audiences.

I also finished watching Ikebukuro West Gate Park the night before last, which had manly tears streaming down my face, so epic. I seriously love this series, not just for the fact that it has some absolutely fantastic characters, but for the sort of curt realism in which each episode doesn't end happily ever after, but also doesn't purposefully go out of its way to be overly morbid. It's definitely one of those sort of great series that doesn't simply fit into any genre, and I am sad to see it end. Hell, I'd go as far as buying it on DVD if it was subbed and released over here, not that it ever will be, crime.

I finished My Boss, My Hero today, it really milked the feel-good ending for all it was worth, but that's what the whole series was all about, a silly happy-go-lucky series made to put a smile on your face. And that's exactly what it did, lovable characters where everything turns out alright in the end and leaves you all cheered up. A frivolous comedy, good times.

On a completely unrelated note, you know what's an awesome word?
Mega.
After seeing a picture of Mega Blocks on 4chan it's made me realize how underused that word is, you only ever hear it in product names like Mega Blocks and Mega Man. Is it even possible to use it in a sentence as anything but the prefix to a noun?
"Hey, check out that 4X4, that is mega."
Hell yeah, that's a word I'm totally going to have to use more often.

School killings to school lunches

I finished watching the Mexican rally yesterday, just in time for the Argentinian rally this weekend.
It was heartbreaking to see Latvala fall back and lose to Loeb due to turbo problems after leading through the first day, a double win would've been absurdly awesome, but at least he walked away with a third place podium finish. I would've usually preferred to see him only come second to Hirvonen, but being pushed down to third by Atkinson is alright as the wacky Australian has got some serious skills, but always fails to hit the big points because of some stupid little mistake, so it's pretty cool to see him get some winning done.
In the end I would've just wanted Hirvonen to come first, but considering the amount of punctures he suffered he's lucky he managed to hold fourth place and walk away with the points that he did, securing him first place in the '08 rally overall, albeit by one point. As narrow a lead as he may have over the world champ, the Argentinian stages should be in the Finnish favour, so I'm really hoping to see some excellent driving to widen the gap before Loeb dominates all the tarmac stages.

I also finally got around to finishing off School Days yesterday, after not having sat down to it for quite a while I ended up watching the last six episodes over a couple of days. While I just about enjoyed it, I wouldn't call it pleasant viewing.
At first I was desperate to get to the drama, really looking forward to it, but when it finally came I was quite taken aback. As should've been expected from that sort of heartbreak it just ended up being really sad, and quite uncomfortably familiar at certain points. Then I just wanted Makoto dead, I honestly couldn't wait for his ass to get iced for all the bastardly thing he's done, but when he did get knifed up I just found myself thinking 'This isn't any better, this is just terrible!'
So it was a bit of a downer overall, still glad I watched it of course.

I then watched Blood: The Last Vampire, quite a short film at only 45 minutes long. Set on an American military base on Japan there was more spoken English than Japanese, but it really wasn't very enjoyable as they all speak very slowly and decisively, like they sourced the voice actors straight out of a language tape. A really stupid move on the producers part, they should either have Japanese subtitles or have them speak in Japanese, having them speak as they were could have arguably ruined the film, as the voice actors are of course one of the deciding factors in any animated media's quality.
The rest of the film was alright, despite my general dislike of these kind of fantasy films. The animation had a decent budget and looked pretty good, and they didn't try to go over the top with big crazy spells and all that stupid crap, which is so often the crux of the genre.
In all, interesting enough.

With all this death and despair I decided I really needed to get into some of the more upbeat titles on my list of things to watch.

First off was Gakuen Utopia Manabi Straight! The easy going, slice-of-life comedy is exactly what I was looking for, with cute characters, charming animation and all that heart warming razzmatazz, I'm sure it'll keep me amused for a good while.

I've also started watching Moyashimon, a series about a first year university student that can see and communicate with microbes. I'm watching this one because not only is it a lighthearted comedy, but it propagates the idea that agricultural students are all hot and sexy raging lesbians, so good times are sure to be had.
It's proving itself to be one of those anime titles that I'll actually learn something from too, with each of the bacteria and micro-organisms that are mentioned notes are provided giving brief information on them, much of which you wouldn't even understand the jokes that are being made without.
So this seems to be an alright series. It's not actually all that funny and I really don't like the main characters, but I'm gonna have to stick with it for the lesbian love triangles and crazy uni drama further down the line.

Call it

I finally got round to watching No Country For Old Men a couple of days ago, I just had to after hearing everyone rave about it so much. It was alright, but once again I would not consider it anywhere near deserving of the praise it received. Javier Bardem was especially cool chips, and pretty much the sole reason it is as popular as it is, while Tommy Lee Jones did the same character he's done for the last thirty seven years. What really let it down was the ending, of which two out of three parts it consisted of were complete failures, while one part was actually pretty cool, but still nowhere near enough to redeem the film as a whole.

I sat down to Freeway the next day, which was rather enjoyable. It's one of those good old fashioned straight forward films with plot development that wouldn't have flunked you out of film school, as opposed to the 'I'm going to conclude the film by telling you about my dream which is completely unrelated to anything you've sat through for the last hundred and twenty minutes because that's DEEP and MEANINGFUL.' like some other such films...
Kiefer Sutherland gave another creepy-awesome performance, much like his Lost Boys, Dark City, Phone Booth days, with Reese Witherspoon showing that some women can find a productive place in our society outside of the kitchen if they really wish it hard enough.

Spending all my requisition

After 13 hours of waking torment I had a chat with some people and cheered the fuck up, so things haven't been so bad after the last few days.

I've been playing The Orange Box quite a bit this week, I got over the loss of keyboard and mouse on Half-Life 2 and Portal pretty quickly, and while the graphics aren't as good on Half-Life 2 as they are on my PC I've gotten used to it and can't really notice the difference anymore.
Team Fortress however, is mightily affected by the 360. The lack of accuracy with keyboard and mouse make spray&pray classes like the heavy and pyro, and splash damage classes like the Soldier and Demoman much more favorable, as getting a kill with any normal weapon is next to impossible. Also, the lack of dedicated servers really stings, a majority of the few servers there are at any one time are hosted by idiots whose connections can't manage more than eight players, which is bloody ridiculous on a game like TF2 where the optimal amount is at least double that.
Mostly I've enjoyed playing through Half-Life again, the achievements are absolutely brilliant for my completionist attitude, so I've been happily immersing myself in it, trawling through and completing each task.

I was all set and ready to install everything on my new hard drive this weekend, I had my list of programs to download and everything tidied up and organized ready to copy over. But as I plug in my 'new' HDD I find XP already installed on it, and as it tries to boot it simply fails and restarts every time I turn my computer on. I am mightily angry at ebuyer for sending me their used shit and am going to call them up tomorrow demanding not only a replacement, but compensation. I'm seriously pissed off about this and am not going to walk away from this empty handed.

One rather mega win this weekend was the acquisition of a Nintendo DS from my brother. He's given me his almost unused black Lite with a browser, so I got straight online and ordered a flash cart for £25, which is an absolutely fantastic total price when everything I'll have in the end will be worth about 10 times that. The problem is that while I'm sitting here with the DS in front of me, and an awesome list of games for it on my computer, I have to wait 14 to 28 days for it to arrive from Hong Kong. It's absolute heartbreak as I've got really excited about it and want to play it now.
Despite the long wait for that, it should be just in time for my trip to Blackpool. I was good to go for next week, but as Dad's using the car for what could be the next three weeks, I've got a long wait for that too. But at least when I do go I'll have plenty to occupy myself with when I'm not driving.

Day 101

Birthday yesterday.
Got a bunch of books that I asked for and a new 500GB SATA hard drive.
I'll probably be spending this extended weekend setting up a new system. I'll plug the hard drive I'm using now into my old computer (which is just without a disc drive, keyboard and mouse), plug the new one into this computer, and spend the silly amount of time it takes to install Windows and all the other shit I need.

I was going to go into a long 19 years old speech, sharing all my thoughts on my past, present and future. But today I found out that Nicola's seeing some 21 year old dude.
I don't really need to explain how that is affecting me, so I'll just go onto the next bit:
She then comes online and starts giving me shit, just like on Sunday, thankfully I've got more than a 160 per text message word limit and can say everything I want to. I manage to convey just how I've felt over the last few days and weeks, because of what she said on Sunday and after we broke up. It turns out she seems to think that I wasn't talking to her because I'd moved on, which of course couldn't be further from the truth. I think I've managed to get on good terms with her, which is at least a good thing, but she still seems rather prone to lashing out at me, which cuts through me like a god damned guillotine every time she does.
The worst part is that now I have some hope. Even while I am absurdly aware of the fact she's seeing some 21 year old guy and I basically know this is going to end with nothing other than more heartbreak for me, I still have a tiny, minute, minuscule and pitiful shimmer of hope burning away in the bombed out ruins of what was once the optimism district. Because of that I don't doubt that how ever ridiculously, she (and he) will dominate my mind all that much more, and when it comes to the showdown it just means all that much more torment for me.

The cake is a lie

Yesterday I went into London with Paul to take part in Project Chanology, we met up with Haku at Monument before hopping a couple of stops to Blackfriars and hitting the Scientology HQ. I knew it was awesome time when I saw a guy standing on a street corner, casually leaning against the wall, smoking while wearing a long black coat and a Guy Fawkes mask. Rounding the corner we met the main protest, hundreds of people with an impressive assortment of signs stood behind a police barricade. As I walked through the crowd I was offered cake every couple of steps, as it was L. Ron Hubbard's birthday people had really gone all the way, there was even a table with more homemade and store bought cakes than I could count piled on top of eachother.
Things went pretty well there, and after a couple of hours we began the mass exodus to Goodge Street to visit the walk-in branch. The pilgrimage did the protest a lot of good, we got a lot of interest and smiles, and it really helped loosen up Anonymous. By the time we had got to the second location everyone was a lot more enthusiastic, and there was a pretty steady stream of chants and slogans being shouted across the road at the Scifags. It was pretty awesome to be able to shout out in the middle of a busy London street, "Anonymous, what is your profession?!" and have well over a thousand people boom back "AROOUGH! AROOUGH! AROOUGH!"
We bounced out at about 1600 and headed over to Wagamama for some eats.

After that we headed for Aldgate to visit a manga cafe I'd read about in an issue of NEO a long time ago. Walking down a very long road we descended into the absolute lower class London, it was quite an interesting experience just walking down that road as it felt as if we were in an entirely different world, like some Eastern European war zone from a film or something.
We found the cafe, which was quite nice in itself, but taking the stairs down into the basement we found the small library of manga, and a line of extremely comfortable reclining leather chairs. For £4 we had the library completely to ourselves for an hour, and as many free drinks as we wanted. The manga may have all been original Japanese imports, but we had quite a laugh describing to eachother what we could make of the plot. Most of all it was just awesome to be able to kick back in some excellent chairs after having stood and walked around all day, a book in one hand, hot chocolate in the other, awesome music playing quietly in the background, plenty of privacy, it was a brilliant spot that I'm sure we'll be visiting again soon.

Crazily enough, I was talking online to Ellie (the person I met through 4chan that went to MCM) last night, and it just so happens that she went to the protests too! So not only did I walk right past her at MCM, but I would've been within meters of her for about three hours yesterday.

I texted Nicola to see how she was doing on Friday, as of course a day hasn't passed since I last saw her in which I haven't thought about her, and have missed her dearly. She texted back an incredibly short message when I was on the train into London on Saturday, but I decided to leave replying and going into that until after the events of the day, and that has to be the single best decision I have ever made in my entire life. To cut a long story short, she absolutely bit my head off and acted like a complete bitch for utterly no reason, completely unprovoked, she was nothing but immature and spiteful when all I wanted to do was chat and catch up.
I've been on a bit of a downer over the last week or so, and her unjustifiably acting like a complete fucking bitch when I had done nothing to deserve it has obviously made me feel like shit.
Just in time for my birthday, thanks.

I r learn

I tried playing Touhou yesterday, as it is revered as some sort of holy grail among otaku, but just like Fate/Stay Night I really do not see what all the fuss is about. It was never going to get off to a great start seeing as I don't exactly have a brilliant history with vertical shooters, I shouldn't have expected as much as I did from this manic/bullet-hell shooter superstar.
I simply found it boring. That being the beginning and end of it, I found it boring.

I downloaded Brain Challenge on the 360 Arcade yesterday, and after trying the demo I quickly bought the full version. It's basically another Brain Trainer rip off, but as I don't have a DS I'll go for what I can get.
I've been interested in getting a game like this for quite a long time, as I saw a thing about them on TV showing how they do sharpen you up absolutely brilliantly, far more than a simple game. I've been especially focused on improving my mental arithmetic, as in the last three years since I had to use it I've always gone straight to the calculator whenever challenged with any maths (not 'math' you grammatically incorrect bastards), not even bothering to try and figure it out myself. Just like my handwriting, which is a constant embarrassment, I may have been able to touch type at ridiculous speeds for most of my life, but if you give me a piece of paper and a pen I'll scrawl like a 12 year old.
I had a game online today, and one of the guys I played was amazing smart, he was answering absurd calculations faster than I could read them, I found it to be a rather inspirational sight.

I watched the first episode of the suggested Hana Yori Dango today, another J-Drama, but deleted the entire batch torrent after half an hour of the atrocity. It turns out the series is based on a shoujo manga, so as you can imagine it's basically a chick-flick. The main antagonists of the series are these four rich kids that basically run the school, and while it may suck pretty bad the leader of these rich fags looks exactly like Prince, which made me laugh mightily every time I saw him poncing around trying to act cool.
Other than that I've been spending a lot of my time watching stuff, IWGP has been most interesting, along with four backed up episodes of Lost and Jericho to get through, I've had no shortage of things too keep me occupied.

Otaku, not weeaboo

I finished watching Akihabara@Deep a couple of days ago, and found it did get considerably better. I don't know if was because it relaxed and stopped trying too hard or because I got used to it, or a combination of the two, but I'm glad I stuck with it as it was amusing enough throughout. I got to really like the characters of the series, and it did have a few bits that had me absolutely cracking up, so despite its initial bizarreness I did come to quite enjoy it.
/jp/ helpfully threw some suggestions my way for what to watch next, with My Boss, My Hero and Ikebukuro West Gate Park being the two that interested me most, and both coincidentally having the same lead actor.
My Boss has proven itself to be both highly amusing and quite touching, as it follows an incredibly stupid 27 year old yakuza whom is told if he doesn't go back school and graduate he'll be disowned. The obvious comedy comes from all the wacky situations he gets himself into, but it is also rather emotional to watch him struggle through situations in which for the first time in his life he can't resolve with violence. It's quite a simple premise with the obligatory love interest and nerdy sidekick, but it makes me smile, so I'll be sticking with it.
IWGP has absolutely grabbed me, it's a much more serious series which candidly follows a group of friends as one of them is killed in a string of murders, it shows the life of an area rife with gangs and delinquents as they lose faith in the police and try to take down the perpetrator themselves. It doesn't follow the obvious episodic development of most dramas and seems to have some interesting lead characters, along with an interesting story and unique setting I'll definitely be sticking with this.

A couple of days ago I decided to try out the highly acclaimed Kaiji, after constantly hearing it praised as an inspirational and uplifting anime, similar to the effects of Gurren Lagann, I got a bit pumped and wanted to join in the fun. I was motivated to download a few episodes after I was told about how Kaiji cuts off his own ear with a shard of glass after losing a bet, and entertains other such manly pursuits throughout the series as he gambles to remove his debt with the mob. Unfortunately the production costs are far too low, and with so many other good shows on the run I really don't have any motivation to force myself through it, so it was binned.

The night before last I watched There Will Be Blood, vaguely boring for a little bit too much of it. It simply struck me as one of those movies that gets embellished at film festivals so that pompous rich assholes can hand eachother a plethora of awards and pat themselves on the back.
Daniel Day-Lewis, however, did put forth a rather good performance, and I certainly enjoyed the development enough to sit it out. But regardless of any redeeming qualities the film may have, I would say that it remains to be yet another entirely unnecessary adaptation of what is most probably a reasonable novel.

Yesterday I did my annual mass clothes shopping, I was motivated to get to it after reading chapter 25 of Genshiken, as Saki convinces Madarame and Ogiue to buy some new threads. I burned through a little too much of my earnings over the last couple of weeks on it, but I got some pretty cool stuff, and now that I have a decent income I don't feel too bad about it.

I believe

I had a fun driving lesson earlier today, taking the Hertford route to Ware and back with my brother, the fact it was a twilight drive on the return made it especially interesting, as I took country roads I could see literally nothing unless I had full beams on, which made for some exciting high speed corners.

As for the rest of my time, I've had a bit of a Matrix weekend. I downloaded the trilogy as it's been a while since I've seen it, and I think I've only seen the sequels once.
The first film is still fantastic, simply a brilliantly told science fiction story, also very well directed, even if it is laughably obvious how influenced by certain anime titles it is.
The second two films, not so much, especially the third one. I hate it when people absolutely slam them simply because they were expecting something as revolutionary as the first again, as that was obviously never going to happen. But they do seem to leave out almost everything that made the first film what it was, and the third film is so painfully contrived it did make me wince a little.
Still, you've got to love it all if only for the fact it gave birth to The Animatrix, a testament to film making. If you watch either Beyond, A Detective Story, Kid's Story, Program or The Second Renaissance and don't appreciate any of the them for the incredible works of art, direction, cinematography and storytelling that they are, then you might as well kill yourself right now, because your life has no purpose.

Party time once again

Pubbing & clubbing was pretty good, especially as the latter was in a rather awesome mansion-turned-club. I even had a random group of girls come up and ask to have their picture taken with me, which was good for moderate lulz.
We didn't go back to Bertie's place afterwards though, Emma decided to steal away Andrew, because apparently seeing him every day before and after that isn't enough. But it's not so bad, as we were absolutely shattered anyway doing anything but getting a good night's sleep in our own beds would've been pretty horrible.
Gaming today was good, a good long CoD4 session with a Tesco run in the middle.
Heading off to Tesco got me really pumped about driving, and especially about getting my own wheels. As it was so sunny and warm it could've almost passed for a summer drive, and that is exactly what I am looking forward to the most this year.

Before and after gaming today I've been making my own epic wall. First I had to rearrange posters to make a massive space on my wall, I then used Rasterbator to print out a pretty big picture of a couple of random Japanese schoolgirls over twenty one A4 pages, it was a timely process cutting off all the boarders, but the end result is absolutely awesome. The only problem is that there are so many pictures and pieces of artwork I want to use, I'm going to have to make a new one every couple of months, it's just so good.

It doesn't seem like flying to Blackpool is a viable option, so I had a brief look at trains and buses but couldn't really find anything immediately great. The main problem is that taking transport like that would require me to get there a day early and leave a day late, which would be another two nights of accommodation I would have to pay for. But my brother absolutely legendarily offered to drive me there and back, so by the looks of things I don't have too much standing in my way anymore.

Hey Vegeta...

I passed my theory, happy days. 50/50 on the questions, too. Not so great on the hazard perception, but that thing's shaky as hell anyway.
I got a bit worried on the way there as my train was twenty three minutes late, but somehow I still managed to get there five minutes early.
Also, really randomly, Lofty was getting the same train into Stevenage to just look around and do some shopping, and even happened to get the same train back, which was cool as I hardly ever see him. Strangely though he won't be coming clubbing tonight, even though he's taking loads of time off work, but oh well.

The hazard perception videos I've been watching over the last few days have made me very reminiscent of the Wales rally, as Tosh (the endless source of information) tells me the largest DSA building is in Swansea after I told him about how I recognized having driven along many of the roads. It reminded me of how good it was just driving in between everything and wandering around Swansea and Cardiff, not even thinking about any of the actual rallying. Now I can't wait until the next rally, which I'll be driving to and from, even though it's still two hundred and twenty six days away.

Speaking of my driving antics, I almost bought a car yesterday. There's a really shifty character that works in a laundrette who always makes us tea when we clean his windows, and yesterday he was trying to shift a 1.5 automatic Daewoo, which clearly hadn't been driven in months. It had some compression problems which could've been anything from spark plugs to the head gasket. But because he was selling it for £100 it was a win win situation anyway, as even if it was a complete dud we could strip it and sell the lump alone to make a profit.
If I had my licence and a driveway or garage to keep it in I would've grabbed it right there. I probably would've at least been able to rag it around a track a couple of times before having a laugh stripping it apart with Paul and Andrew and making some money on it.
Ahh well, working in a trade job I'm sure this won't be the last cheap set of wheels I'll come across.

I had a brief look at flights to Blackpool to do this intensive course yesterday, but didn't have as much luck as I'd been hoping. Half the results I got were news articles on how companies like Ryanair don't even fly up there anymore, and trains are bound to be absurdly expensive. But I'll have to have another better look soon, as there's nothing down here remotely as good as that place.

The books I'd ordered arrived over the last couple of days. I'll start reading volume five of Genshiken soon, but I'm going to save volume ten of Initial D and Welcome to the N.H.K for Blackpool.
The blurb of Welcome to portrays it as the most otaku-awesome light novel ever written, so I am very much looking forward to diving into it, I just need to sort out how I'm going to get to this promised land first.

Also, I wasn't really thinking about my gamerscore on the 360 as anything interesting until I hit the five figure mark, but today after returning home I got a gold on the last race of the Semi-Pro series on Forza, kicking up the score by 35 points to 9025. Now whenever anyone asks me what my gamerscore is I can say "It's over NINE THOUSAAAND!" and have them look at me like I'm trippin' balls.
lol internet meme

Nice boat

I started watching the ever so famous and controversial School Days yesterday, I have always been interested in checking it out, and with no other anime titles on the cards I decided it was finally time to join the collective and educate myself. I have now watched the first three episodes and am very surprised to find it to be nothing like I expected, with its infamously violent conclusion I was expecting a rather dark and foreboding series, but so far have seen nothing but a typical light hearted harem comedy. If it wasn't for the fact that I know everything's going to end in tears of blood I would probably find it rather boring, but with that knowledge in mind I am quite excited to see this frivolously delightful romance come violently crashing down in the near future.

I have been taking a few trips up the ladders over the last couple of days of work, Tosh seems to trust me enough to start moving me on to the next phase, which will mean the next pay grade if I do well enough.
Though tomorrow will be my last day of work for this week, as I'm taking Thursday off for my midday theory test, and am taking Friday off for an epic gaming day with the lads. The plan is now to take all my gear over Bertie's on Thursday before we all head out for a drink, after which we'll all be going clubbing until some early hour at which we won't be stumbling home to crash out, but stumbling back to Bertie's to play CoD4 until we pass out on Friday. I told Tosh that I'll do an extra day of work on the weekend whenever he wants to make up for my Friday absence, but aside from that the next few days look to be alright, assuming I pass my theory first off.
Over the last couple of days I've been doing loads of last minute revision, very reminiscent of school while only being marginally more entertaining. I'm relatively confident, but it just feels like passing and being free to go off to do my intensive course would be too good to be true, I just have to see how things go.

Move over Toivonen

I've been playing a bit of Sega Rally over the last couple of days, borrowed from my brother on Friday. I grabbed it for some simple arcade racing that I don't have to pay much attention to, but the repetition of the short tracks makes it even more mindless than I had expected, quickly turning it into quite a boring affair.
I also completed Kane & Lynch yesterday, only taking another few hours from where I got to on the first day, I really liked the choice it gives you at the end, leading to two very different endings. I gave the multiplayer a bit of a spin after that, and while it has a genius system encouraging you to work together until the possibility of treachery at the end of each round, most of the time you just get idiots that start killing all the people on their team as soon as the game starts, ruining it for everyone. It's fantastic if you get a group of people that play it properly though.

I watched a couple more episodes of Akihabara@DEEP yesterday, at first I was just forcing myself through it to see what happens, but I think I've got over its extreme eccentricity now and can manage the madness. So I think I'll stick with it 'till the end now, especially as it's only 12 episodes long.

I finally got round to watching the final stage of the Swedish rally yesterday too, as rally Mexico took place this weekend and will be online soon. Fantastically Latvala and Hirvonen managed to hold their top two positions and walk away with the points.
The best part is that the victory now makes Jari-Matti Latvala the youngest ever person to win a WRC rally! It's absolutely amazing how just last season he was a surprisingly talented newcomer, and now in just the second rally of '08 he's a world record holder, putting his name down in racing history for generations to come. Or at least until I get my licence, watch out.

Tight with my jew golds

I was thinking about my expenditures at work today, and more specifically how extremely low they generally are, I started thinking about how I should actually spend more money. I always try to save as much of my gold as I can and always feel quite guilty whenever I spend any money, even if it's just on a £4 book. It makes it really strange to think about some of my friends are working more hours for more money than me and never have any money in their bank, I couldn't even begin to imagine getting to the end of a week and looking at all of my wages as spending money. But considering that I don't go out all the time pissing it away on pubs and pizzas I should be thankful for my increasingly hikikomori tendencies and spend a bit more money on books, clothes and stuff that I enjoy. Everyone I've spoken to about it says that being as sensible with my money as I am is a very good thing, and there's no argument that it isn't as it does mean I will easily have the money to buy whatever I want when it comes to it, but I work every weekday for this money so should allow myself some nice things every now and then.
As this week I have hit the 2k mark in my open account, and with my birthday approaching I've decided to loosen up with my spending and get some stuff I've been looking at. Before heading out to my brother's place today I ordered a few books, and tomorrow (or today after I've had some sleep) I'll probably look at buying some clothes and stuff.
I keep buying stuff for other people without thinking about it and unnecessarily depriving myself of the most absurdly cheap shit that'll make me happy just because I always feel like I've already spent too much money recently, but screw that, I should be able to buy whatever I want.

Driving to my brother's place with him in the passenger seat tonight was fun, as my first experience driving a car with anyone but my Dad. We picked up some people on the way, and even though I was hoping to drive to get their pizza and drop them off at the end of the night I didn't get the chance to. I still got some greatly appreciated practice, not to mention that it was of course awesome being able to relax and drive far more casually, without my Dad in the passenger seat it no longer felt as if I was with a driving instructor the whole time. Of course I still drove just as carefully, mainly because I wanted to show everyone in the car that I had some skills and wasn't a typical shitty teenage learner driver. But it was still nice having a little more free reign in a 1.6 litre turbo Focus, fun times.

I have the rest already~

I cleaned the windows of the dirtiest house I have ever seen in my entire life yesterday, inside and out, it was like something out of a horror movie. Kage said they were the dirtiest windows he had ever cleaned, and he's been doing the job for six years, they actually reckon none of the windows had been touched in at least 20 years.
This was a level of unclean you had to see to behold, this was no simple dirt that you would be familiar with. If you were to throw a bucket of mud at a window it wouldn't be anywhere near as dirty as the windows we had to clean, a layer of mud can just been wiped off, but these windows had decades of grime, grease and dust building up on top of eachother, compacting down and solidifying itself for longer than I've been alive. Even after going over the same pane a third time the water would still ooze off it completely black, it made me appreciate every other window I clean for the incredible level of immaculacy that they all hold.

Outside of work I've been looking at joining the TA again, but won't be seriously thinking about it until I've got my licence and sorted out if I'm buying a car or not. Hopefully I'll be motivated to make this endeavor go a little bit better than the last three failed attempts, even though two of those weren't my fault. I am especially committed this time as I don't give a damn about anyone or anything in my life aside from driving, with no distractions I just want to do it and occupy myself completely with it.

In other free time distractions I briefly contemplated the purchase of the 360 Arcade game Triggerheart Exelica. I feel the same inexplicable attraction to vertical scrolling shooters as the next otaku, but the problem is that I'm simply terrible at them. I tried the demo and quite enjoyed it, I would've bought it straight away if it wasn't for the crippling anchor system.
The anchor attack grabs enemy ships and allows you to spin them around and throw them across the screen, this removes most of the shooting and dodging that genre defining games like Touhou have become cult classics because of. I think that damn anchor alone made the crucial difference in this sale.

If I thought Initial D Eurobeat was fantastic music to start with, I didn't truly understand how good it really is. I have a favorite selection from the three main Initial D D Selection albums copied onto my iPod and these are pretty much the only tracks I ever listen to, but to mix it up a bit yesterday I put on some of the tracks I don't really listen to, and some that I had never even heard once before, it absolutely cheered me up to the maximum. Spark in the Dark, My Only Star, Love & Money, Lost into the Night, I can sit back and sing along to these tunes at the top of my voice for hours, they're simply such fantastic songs. I had two lines from Za-Za - Love & Money stuck in my head today, I don't know the song well enough to remember the rest of it so I just had that short snippet going round in my head all through work, and because it's not in my favorite selection yet I didn't have it on my iPod to listen to, making it incredibly frustrating in a strangely good way.
They're such great songs though, I can't wait to have my licence and be able to drive places singing along to them as loud as I can, the simple thought of that is the blissful dream that gets me through the degradation each day provides me.

Dead Men

I sat down to The Place Promised in Our Early Days yesterday, not expecting greats things after the last disappointment, but I was far more than pleasantly surprised. The artistry and direction was almost as perfect as 5 Centimetres Per Second, but where it really came out on top was the story, exactly what 5 Centimetres was lacking. It now definitively holds a position as one of my favorite anime films, it certainly wasn't as epic as anything like Akira or Ghost in the Shell, but it was so brilliantly faultless in every respect that I can't see why anyone wouldn't enjoy it. Definitely a title I'd think of showing anyone that hasn't seen any anime before, and by anime I don't mean Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z.

Today I've been playing Kane & Lynch, borrowed from my brother. It's alright, definitely a very borrowable game, not something I'd pay for but I'm enjoying it enough. The main problem -which you will see from watching any video of the game- is the desperately bland level design and very unsatisfying physics. On top of that the entire game (of which I have completed two thirds of on the hardest setting since getting home from work today) basically consists of running places and shooting people. Its saving grace is the direction, fantastically scripted and excellently acted it keeps you interested on the constantly moving story. I'll be done with it in the next couple of days though.
What I'm really interested in getting is the Orange Box for 360. Even though I do of course have it on the PC, I just want to play it again, which will be about my sixth run through for Half-Life 2. I would also quite like to have the completionist nature with which I played it on the PC recorded with achievements, and I'm sure I'd play Team Fortress 2 a lot more online on the 360. I don't regret getting it for PC at all though, not one bit, as such a glorious game as Half-Life unquestionably needs to be played with a keyboard and mouse first time through. But as I do have it already I don't particularly want to pay over £15 for it on eBay, as the cheapest I could get it new for is £32. Most of them seem to be going for £20, but if I persevere I should get lucky sooner or later.
Added bonus that I'll be able to lend it to Bertie and Andrew, finally getting those knuckle heads to see what they've been missing out on.

I found myself in a severely annoying situation last night with my mother. I told her that I was thinking about buying some wheels and she took it very badly, going off on how it was the most 'foolish' thing I could possibly do. She started going on about how I couldn't possibly pay for it, when I am working five days a week. The most ridiculous thing is how she can't even begin to understand why I would possibly want a car, all she sees cars as are an unfortunately necessary tool you use to get from A to B, she can't even begin to comprehend that I actually have an interest in cars, driving and motorsports as something that entertains me.
She also doesn't understand the freedom it would give me. All the things I want to do this year need a car to get me there, not to mention that all the little things that my friends have been doing for years and take for granted are still completely out of my reach purely because I don't have my own car. It's definitely not something that can be explained to her logically, if she doesn't even begin to understand any possible reason why I would benefit from owning car under her own steam, logical explanation certainly isn't going to do anything for her.
One of the main reasons I don't think she can understand is because she never experienced it. When she was my age she would never have even considered owning a car, and by the time she could drive and did buy a car she was already married and settled down.
But it doesn't matter in the end, as she rightly said "I can't stop you." And then she had the audacity to say "It's up to you to make your own mistakes." which actually scared me. Honest to god I am actually scared that she is quite seriously that stupid to make such an absurdly retarded comment such as that, it just highlights how she has no fucking clue what I would gain from it.
It's shit I just don't need really. Just as I was beginning to cheer up and get excited about passing my theory and going off to do the intensive course she's gotta be a massive lulz killer and bring me right back down. Fucking annoying.

A blog post

I watched Voices of a Distant Star last night, and it wasn't all that great. Everything was well drawn and animated apart from the characters, who looked incredibly amateur. I almost ditched it alltogether after two minutes, but as it was only twenty five minutes long I decided to sit it out. It was alright, but I won't be going back to it any time soon. Or ever.

I also downloaded the first episode of the Japanese drama Akihabara@DEEP and sat down to that yesterday. It sounded good on paper, following the adventures of a bunch of otaku in Akiba. But it was so desperately over the top that it was rather painful to watch, but as it's so lauded I've decided to stick with it and see where it goes, hopefully it at least doesn't get any worse, not that I actually think that's possible.

At least my driving lesson today was shit hot, I drove like a god damn... person with a driving licence. I was matching the revs bang on with every gear change and pulling away at the busiest of roundabouts beautifully, the whole drive was brilliantly smooth and controlled. With that sorted out I'm totally prepared to piss off to this intensive course in Blackpool as soon as I've passed my theory.
Those five days away is the oasis in the desert that is my calendar. Occupied all day with driving, with nothing but the beach and a book to distract me in the evening, it sounds like absolute bliss.

Everyone sulks

I got Burnout on Thursday, he had sent it out next day delivery which was rather nice of him, and that's taken up all of my free time since then. After getting back from work on Thursday I spent up until dinner doing two player challenges with Falco, and after dinner 'till about 10pm doing three player challenges with the addition of Nimmo, it was fantastic.
Yesterday we finished off the last of the challenges before I headed off to my brother's place for the weekly bud club. Lost was its usual self, the rest of the time was just spent hanging out, which was cool. When I got home it was about 11, I was so tired I just wanted to crash out, but once I hooked my Xbox back up I ended up playing Burnout again 'till about 3am.
Today I've been playing it almost non-stop since I got up, setting times on every single street and unlocking as many cars as I can.

I stopped about an hour ago to play CoD with the guys, with the unusual presence of Swifty, home from uni. Half way through I decided to take the plunge and start Prestige Mode, in the first game with nothing but the default Assault class M16 I managed to get 58 kills and 18 deaths, ranking up six times in that one game alone. It isn't as bad as I thought it'd be, I might be without my favorite weapons and perks but I can clearly do a lot of damage with the other guns, and I'm living without the perks alright.

One thing that made me chuckle hard recently was Loeb on the second day of the Swedish WRC. Racing under the restart rules he could compete without having his time count towards scoring any points. He was nothing but sour and was reported to have said he'd "rather be at home", and then on the way back from a stage he was stopped for speeding, then once back at the service park he retired from the rally completely until Mexico. Boo-hoo for the world champion.

Unaddressed text messages

I finished watching 5 Centimetres Per Second last night, brilliant stuff. The second part was just as good as the first, but the third was a bit vague and spent most of it showing clips of the main characters doing stuff with a song playing over the top. Granted the song wasn't bad, but it felt like a bit of a let down after the fantastic first two parts.
I looked up the director -Makoto Shinkai- to see if he had any other good stuff and found two previous works listed, artwork from latter of which coincidentally serves as my current wallpaper, downloaded both on the phat pipe and will watch them soon.

I watched Once Upon a Time in Mexico today, which is truly a film from a better era. It has some of the best action scenes I've seen in a long time, good classic shooting people and jumping over stuff, none of this special effects showcasing you get with modern films like Die Hard 4. And while it is an action film it still has a lot of decent comedy without becoming slapstick and stupid.
The leading Antonio Banderas puts on a rather uninspired performance, but Johnny Depp picks it up brilliantly and keeps things going. Danny Trejo even got a chuckle once, and that lurch is the last person in the world I would want to meet down a dark alley.

I emailed the guy I bought Burnout off of today, as I still don't have it. He sent me an indescribably poorly written email back (I mean seriously, I've seen six year olds with infinitely better English comprehension than that email displayed) telling me something about his computer not working, and that he'd send it out to me with more expensive delivery to make sure it got to me as soon as possible. If it's true and I get it by Friday I won't have to break anyone's fingers.

Heresy

I remember when I was a very young child I met an Iranian family, the father of the family was an exuberant character and got on great with my own Dad. The thing that really struck me about the family is how they would unquestionably do anything for the people they respected, it went far beyond any simple level of generosity I have seen in any British or American family, the way they would selflessly treat the people they respect like they are the closest members of their own family really stuck with me, and since then I have always tried to emulate that.
I can't claim to be anything like they were, but I have occasionally made sure my friends were aware that I absolutely had their backs whenever they needed it, I even had to support those words with actions a couple of times before I moved to Stanborough school.
I think I realize now that my downfall has often been forgetting that other people don't feel the same way, to many friendship is a fickle and disposable thing, something you employ with a lot of people only when you want something from them, something you act to their face while you make snide remarks behind their back. And I am thinking of specific people when I say that, fortunately most of them have gone to uni and are no longer in contact, yet I still have to remind myself that some people are just straight up assholes whose words hold as much weight as a sinking ship. Of course I'm not perfect, but I've always been up front about my opinions and let people know exactly where I stand.
I feel like honour is looked at as an old fashioned concept, with trust and respect thrown around so much they hold very little meaning anymore. But they're just as important as they always have been, and people quickly gain my respect when I see that they hold similar values.
I still feel that way with the people I respect, that I've got their back and would be there for them when they need it, not that they particularly need to know it until the times comes. But I could count the people I truly trust on one hand, with room to spare, and that's the unfortunate thing.
Edit: Thinking about it, I believe that not only do they all read my blog, but are the only people that do, thankfully. Thanks guys.

Anyway, work today was manageable. I was working for the first time with Gareth today, for the most part is was just us and I quite enjoyed his company. He is a complete geezer, so much so that he has actually served two prison terms, one for beating someone up, but I found myself happily chatting and getting on rather well with him towards the end of the day. It was the first time I've really been able to happily relax and smile for a long time as we sat having a brew in someone's garden, him telling me why women are no good with stories of his ex-wife's treachery. I could happily talk to him about the crap I went through because he knew none of the background to it, so I think I'm starting to get over Nicola alright. Even though I'd take her back in a shot, at least I can talk about her without feeling like shit. But that's just one of my many, many stupid problems I obsess over, so I'm not out of the woods yet.
I think most of my relatively good mood today was from having a chat and catching up with a couple of people last night, which I found rather enjoyable, alleviating a bit of stress. One person's apparent concern in particular made me feel a lot better, but through association with someone else I don't feel I can trust her at all, so after a bit of debate I decided I'd keep that to myself.
If someone in the street gave me crap I'd still flip out, scratch their eyes out and use their desecrated body to build a chaotic demon of flesh and steel to lay waste to the cities of mankind, with which I would add to my immortal festering army of undead wretches with each new conquest, eventually creating such a testament to Khorne that it would bring about the end of all existence in this universe. But at least now I wouldn't particularly enjoy it.

And torn up letters

I got around to watching the first day of the Swedish WRC stage today. Being the only snow stage this year it was set to be an interesting watch from the word go, it supported that by retiring champion Loeb into a snow drift and giving Latvala first place with a 48 second lead on Hirvonen in second. The day ended with the top four positions filled with Focuses, with five in the top eight overall. Just have to hope that the BP Ford team managed to keep those top two positions through Saturday and Sunday.

I finished watching Planetes today, it was a good series with a satisfying ending. Some of the characters grated on my nerves a bit but overall it was enjoyable.

Last night I watched the first part of the three part film 5 Centimetres Per Second, it is a truly amazing film that flawlessly reminds me why I like anime. The artistry and animation is on such a level of perfection that you could pause it at just about any random moment and be left with a fantastic piece of art, it is simply such a beautiful thing to watch that it completely revises your standards for all film making.
The story is so far a very by the books romance, but while it was unoriginal it did it in such a way that you couldn't really criticize it for doing anything wrong. The excellent voice acting gave it that absolutely necessary element of brilliance that made the entire thing an instant classic. It certainly was a tear jerker and had me welling up a couple of times, exactly the sort of thing I wanted to see and I am eagerly anticipating the second part tonight.

I think it was Nicola's final chapter today. I tried to call her just to chat and see how her day has been but she refuses to talk to me through anything but msn, and I am not going to lower our relationship to that of a twelve year olds. In her text messages she really is adamant that it is completely over, all because of her distressingly naive ideas about how relationships work.
It's hard to talk about her without using the phrase 'cold hearted bitch', because I love her to bits and would do anything for her even now after she broke my heart, but when you care about someone that much and they won't even talk to you with the slightest ounce of maturity on the god damn phone about what they've been up to, it kind of tests your faith. And how absurdly reminiscent that is.
So that's that, once again I get fucked over for trusting someone. It took a good long while for me to let my guard down, but once I did she swooped down and cut me in the face with no remorse. Reminding me once again that intentionally or unintentionally, everyone you ever meet can and will stab you in the back.

Sick days

I got a text from Nicola yesterday stating that she does in fact still care about me and is sorry 'things didn't work out', I inquired as to what the god damn problem was if she does want to be with me. It turns out she seems to think she can't be in a relationship and have an education at the same time, which is of course absolutely flat out wrong. Trying to convince her otherwise was an incredibly frustrating uphill struggle that proved to be an exercise in futility.

ANYWAY.
I booked my theory test not long ago too. The morning of the day I did it I had a look online and saw tests available next Tuesday and the Tuesday after that, I couldn't book either of them at the time however as I needed my mother's Visa to pay for it. Looking again later that day with card in hand I found both of those tests had been taken and now I have to wait until the 6th of March for my test, which is slightly irksome.

I started chatting yesterday to some online chick I met in a roundabout fashion through 4chan and whom lives not so far away in Colchester, she has a pretty cool taste in anime and studies English in 6th form, but the really crazy thing about it is that she and her friends made a load of Gurren Dan flags and just so happened to be right near us in the queue at MCM. What a coincidence.
She linked me to a list of stuff she'd seen, which prompted me to make My own Anime List. I know I'm missing a few things but most of the stuff's there, and it's quite shocking to see just how much stuff I've actually sat through.

Just before writing this I won a bid on Burnout for £26, just as I was beginning to lose patience and start thinking about buying it from a retailer. The p&p's a mighty £3, so I better bloody well get it on Monday.

To one and all

Have a happy fucking Valentines Day.

What is your profession?

Been ill off work the last couple of days, watching films to pass the time.
Watched Shooter yesterday, stereotypical characters, Mark Wahlberg was alright.
Then Borat, made me laugh a few times.
Today I watched The Bourne Ultimatum, very dry and tried too hard.

I made an eBay account yesterday and started trying to get Burnout for £30, not gone too well so far as I've lost about four bids.

I missed out on Project Chanology's London protest last Sunday, and while I do have a dismissive nature for nonviolent protests -as in this day and age they do absolutely nothing- I will be going to the next one on March 15th, just for what looks like a rather fun Anonymous gathering.

Ronery drivur

Looks like I'm single again. Was all set to see Nicola today when I get a text giving me the whole 'just want to be friends' bullshit. It's funny (I don't actually find this funny at all) because I said this exact thing would happen weeks ago, I said that if I didn't see her for a while she'd get bored and dump me. When we were going out she'd text me every day and keep saying 'I love you more' and was nothing but enthusiastic, but after not having seen her for over a week the text messages trail off, she's less enthusiastic, and then bang, we pass the point of no return and she can't be bothered any more. I guess it's my fault for forgetting that most teenage girls have the emotional stability of a biscuit.
All I want is someone to love, nothing more, someone I can dote on, take out to nice places, have a fun time with. I would've done anything for her, but apparently that's not good enough, I'm not good enough.
The first thing I actually did when I found out was post on /b/ that I'd just been dumped, the hilarity of their suggestions got me through the first few moments rather nicely.
So here I am, flying solo again. Let's take bets on how long for, six months, a year, two years? I'm betting on not getting another girlfriend before I'm 20 years old.