Insha'Allah

Life has its ups and downs, you'd have to have some sort of freak existence for it not to. But as we hear constantly, when you're down you've just gotta pick yourself back up, easier said than done. This isn't one of those motivational seminars though, just a live train of thought I'm throwing at the keys.
I've had a pretty down time recently, really much through my own paranoid worries and the such, because no matter how logical I try and keep my life I always have the worst possible case scenario running around my head like a cracked up energizer bunny. But sitting around with these situations in a stagnant position is only going to make them fester and worsen, as I've experienced first hand. So you've gotta flush that shit out, get your life flowing again, because things can't go up if you don't push them to move at all. It may be hard to face, you may want to just curl up in a ball and try and pretend it never happened, but life isn't that easy, so man the fuck up and do something about it.
Also, you've always got to remember that you've never hit rock bottom, as Tyler Durden said, "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken." Things can always be worse, and there are always going to be millions of people that have problems that make yours look utterly insignificant.
But the problem is that no matter how unimportant the problem may be in the grand scheme of things, how much it affects you is the only relevant factor, and 'buck up and deal with it' are often hollow words when things simply aren't that easy, and more often than not during the legitimately seriously problems things will never be the same again.
But that's life, it's hard as hell and for most people will have times when it pushes you to the edge just to see what you're really made of. But that's getting a bit too dramatic for my liking, I've had some very hard times recently, all because of some shit that at the end of the day was relatively meaningless and had nothing to do with me, but even so it didn't stop it driving me insane. No matter how much of a non-event it may have been, it still hurt me like hell, and that's what most of people don't understand when hearing other people's problems, they take them at face value, myself included in very recent history with another internet friend that was confiding in me during incredibly hard times for her, but it's not how bad the situation appears to be that you need to take into account, but how badly it affects the people involved.
I faced my problems today, and while things will never be the same, and while there is no solution that will make everything better, at least I've done something, changed the record and moved onto another chapter. Because that's life, there's no motivational promise that things will get better or that justice will prevail, because many things will never get a happy ending and you be sure that they won't be the last problems you see in your life. The only thing I guess I have to say is that just the way life is, maybe things can get better, maybe they can't, maybe there's something you can do about it, maybe it's out of your hands. Unfortunately life isn't as romantic as the religious story of god having a plan for everyone and all that bullshit, life simply sucks ass and you've gotta play the cards you're dealt. But no matter what situation you are in, no matter how bad things are, you always have choices, and it's not what you do with those choices, but simply the fact that you choose one.
Fortunately I live a very generous life, comfortably earning parents, no illnesses or handicaps, born into a politically stable country to be offered a remarkably blank slated life. I can't say I've made the most of it, acting like a complete idiot through my entire school life and throwing away my education, but I'd like to think I've learnt from some of the mistakes I have made and will play it slightly differently in the future. I'm looking at a mechanics or some sort of engineering apprenticeship, and as of last Sunday night I am officially in a relationship with the fantastic Nicola. From one light my life is a good one indeed, from another I could definitely ask for more, but whatever the case may be all I can do is deal with it as I encounter it. It reminds me of some sort of adventure game like Monkey Island, with a list of options in every conversation and situation, all you can do is choose one and see where it takes you.
But I do ramble on in this utterly unprepared and unstructured blog post, it feels like this recent slow blogging period is catching up on me. Hopefully things will continue to progress over the next few days and weeks, I can't say I'm completely happy with the current state of play, but as I said, that's just what I have to deal with. I'll look forward to another driving lesson on Friday, Dan the man's return and a session at his pad on Saturday, and another encounter with my (tee-hee) girlfriend on Sunday.
Will I lose all faith in the Imperium and kill myself, will I persevere and become the next world rally champion, or will Allah grow weary of my melodrama and cast me down? Stay tuned to find out.